I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
