I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize