i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Everclear isn't food dammit
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
