i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
