You're so nebulous sometimes
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
