babies were throwing up all over the place
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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