I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
