LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
