How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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