he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
