Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
