you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
