"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
