Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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