Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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