YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
