I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
