Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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