Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize