in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
