I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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