Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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