Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
