Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
