drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
