I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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