you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
