it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
