hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
