even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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