Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
