don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
3pm strippers are depressing
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
