her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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