My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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