The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
