Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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