normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
