i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
