i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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