okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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