Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
