Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize