Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize