Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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