I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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