She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
