so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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