Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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