Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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