He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
