I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
