he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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