I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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