i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize