well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
