I will die if light touches me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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