He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
