Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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